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New College Football Club
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Teams


Captains

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There are three men's teams, one ladies' team, and rumours of an MCR team being scraped together but that has not yet materialised into a fighting unit of players. Here are some brief and not entirely true descriptions of the teams that do put out sides:


The 1st team consists largely of ex-professionals who have become disillusioned with the greed and corruption that permeates the game at the highest levels, and who are demonstrating their commitment to honest football by encouraging grass-roots development through the college league scene.

The 2nd team is the training academy for fledging players looking to break into the top side. Plans are in place for a purpose-built training complex designed to take the performance of the players to the astronomical levels required for college football, but the team currently lacks any such facilities, and indeed any semblance of physical fitness.

The 3rd team, captained by the irrepressibly bad Thomas Moran, is where the true quality lies in New College football. This quality is in no way related to football, and in fact the standard of play is, according to the captain, comfortably low.